Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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