i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
