i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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