Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
