At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
