yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
how drunk are you?
Several
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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