Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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