thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
