everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
babies were throwing up all over the place
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
