I love black thongs
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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