I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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