I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He better not be in your backpack
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
