you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
