Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
