She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
