Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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