At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
