Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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