Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
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