Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
