I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
