my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
