You're so nebulous sometimes
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
