Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
