3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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