If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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