Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
