We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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