omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
