even my farts smell like vagina
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
