do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
