Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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