Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
