i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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