the condom got lost in my hair
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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