i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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