i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
