I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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