While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
