I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
