Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
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