the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
