just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm getting married
To pizza
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
