Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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