im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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