I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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