i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
How's work?
Spinning.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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