So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
