i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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