her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
there was a trapeze. enough said
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
