I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Randomize
