Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
