i may or may not be watching the land before time
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
