The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize