Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
