Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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