Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
sex in a hospital.. check
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
