I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't deserve a penis
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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