I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
