on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
