so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
